Here comes the moon...

- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -

Once again the essence of the lunar spirit have granted me sufficient strength to dish out harsh dirt of my mind in the forms of linguistic symbols invented by people, governed by ethics and decisions. Before plunging into the wells of infinite darkness, I would really like to sing some praises to my current well being that this humble nature had granted me so far. You see SG is a place where life has no significance by itself except when it's decided by societal norms and forces that "nuture" and mold the supposedly "acceptable" model. Time, money and expectations of everyone around except your own runs your life day in and day out. I guessed that's pretty much the way how people interacts with nature in big cities.

So for me, I wasn't really sure of why everyone had big aspirations and ambitions when they were simply 7 or 8 years of age. I had none to begin with for I never really saw the need for it.

Straying as usual, so back to my personal well being. Yep after almost a year here in seclusion away from fast paced environments, pollutions and irritable situations, I found myself interacting with nature as it is...untouched and untamed. Living on simple fare but the abundant harvest of seasonal fruits, I found myself indulging in a whole new level of luxury. From juicy white peaches to prized grapes in summer, only to be rewarded with more diabetic goodies like SGD$99 melons and gigantic strawberries. Raw fish or sashimi have become an important part of my daily diet while more wholesome goodness from the local farm grown greens.

Winter had brought for much snow to warm my chillest heart while the occasional snakes passing my front yard keeps life interesting. Racoons, foxes and deers seems to drop by once in a while while the intense bamboo forest behind my house still packs a mysterious punch.

All these while I have learnt to co-exist with nature but not to the extent to live off the land penniless. Simply not able to commit such a grave decision yet. Back home in SG for the past 3 weeks have left me not short of more compliments. Radiant glow on my face, even better complexion and a smoother and fairer skin. Slowly I become the envy of many females both young and old alike. This I would simply attribute to the minimal stress I received for sleeping long hours and the generosity that this place have granted me. If anyone would like to discover that life is not all about making money and back stabbing everyone else, I strongly urge you to embark on a self realization journey. An odyssey where you can see how much nature have to offer...of course do not get me wrong that I am encouraging you to desert your commitments and go full fledge but all I am implying is that self denial and reality escapism comes with great risk and responsibilities. After all this is YOUR 1 life that you have so decide wisely.

Movies like Into the Wild have further justified a portion of my obsession with the cold harsh winter simply because I love snow. But having watched the movie revolving around the life of Christopher Johnson McCandless, I do admit my life now is more or less like his except that I have a decent shelter over my head, I have cosy and snuggly bed, proper sanitation and the very fact that I do not have to kill to survive. In fact I am so much more better off than him as this place have provided me a comfortable home for almost a year. It may be true to a certain extent that at times I do like the freedom to wonder around clothless only to jump into a crystal clear waterfall but that is still pretty far fetched. I may be living in solitation under occasional negative cognitive infestation, nonetheless I still yearn for companionship, games and the internet.

The bottomline is that no matter how distant I may have wondered, inside the very roots of being Chinese, being borned in SG and the circumstances that I evolved under, I am fully liable for many relations governed by monetary and time issues. So the very thought and the very simplistic wish of living off the land and disappearing somewhere in total seclusion will never be possible. Seems incredible years later to tell a tale which will put me into the legendary status, or even a spot in wikipedia, what comes after that is what will ultimately crush me because even thinking about it now is frightening.

Given that now the charm and novelty of this place is still holding out pretty decently, I am positive that once this stage of my life reaches a plateau, I will move on to a city, get a regular job and get on with life. This way I can please the very society that I am indebted in many ways. All in the expense of giving up my freedom to appreciate the land.

Alaska, even before watching this inspiration movie had already gain some footing in me. But the uncertainties and the reluctance to forsake all that I am enjoying now had cast a deadly shadow over that white natural appeal. Someday, but I am not sure when...I shall pay Alaska a visit.