The Awakening

- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -

Cruising at 20km/h home this morning, I watched the golden sphere peeking slightly above the horizon. The air was fresh with a slight tint of cool moisture and the morning fog was easily visible. It was there that I actually recalled how I miss those times together and bitter memories flooded me along with the beautiful break of dawn. It was only 0600 hours in the morning and I am making my way back home.

The massive trance party last nite lasted all the way till 0500 hours in the morning. The thumping bass and the flanging electronica was over as I have grown emotionally attached to Sigur Ros. I am probably suffering from post Sigur Ros symptoms as I can't get the music outta my head. Try untitled #8 from the album ( ) which can be downloaded off their web free and you will know what I mean.

Last nite at the party, a single girl caught my attention but too bad she was attached. She had the most beautiful set of eyes, the most gorgeous set of sophistication and the most glamourous smile I have seen. No I am not hinting that I am falling for her but my admiration was ended abruptly as it's not feasible to even try to talk to her. You see, when you have a BF, and you stick to your gal buddies and remain hostile towards other guys, it not likely that you want to get hit on. Besides, I have grown over the years to observe and admire from far and evaluate how people react and behave to different stimuli and this of course is one of those many "experiment" that I conduct. Though her BF was not present, and that I got those information from a viable source, nonetheless, I was granted the honour to have a drink with her which had allowed me to push my research further.

Nope, totally futile to venture beyond any casual conversation as she was reluctant. Point taken, observation continued. And so throughout the whole night I was simply observing how she behave and react and the occasional glimpse of her smile which had amazingly put a smile across my face. Her name was Erika and she have lifted the my benchmark to observe God's marvelous creation at it's perfection. I will not settle for anything else now as such eye candy are hard to come by but when they do appear, you will know what I mean.

Sunken into a deeper state of depression, meals are irregular and I have the occasional acute pains in vital parts of my body. Sigur Ros's dark hopelandic tunes have fueled me further into my own imaginary world and I am really reluctant to turn back. A smile of calm and joy are depicted to everyone but here in this blog is what I am, away from everyone else where my world is not governed by anything else. In my own house tucked in the forests, I have awaken to be consume by the darkness that is crawling from the edges of my vision.

But there is this phrase that I have kept a secret for a long long time inside my head less the occasional mutter. Interpret it anyway you want it.

"If ever one day when you wake up and you find me standing in front of your front door with a bouquet of flowers, that will be the day that I shall grant you your wish."