The Storm of Shadows

- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -

Decided by a foreign force, I cannot and will not decide my next move. Though disappointment is usual when I can't take it anymore, these have been rather frequent these days. I sincerely hope that they do not become a common relapse and excuse for me to justify my actions. Walking on an extremely fragile and fine line of sanity, I just can't plot my next move. Rather, I await my opposition to lead my moves.

Things are hard but I guessed I'd probably survive but still I have to remind that please treasure the things around for sometimes, it's only when you lose them or that they are not with you anymore would you only realise their existence and their importance. And besides, sometimes once you lose them, there is no way you can ever have them back so please treasure whatever that there is around you and don't take them for granted. In the book of life, there is no room for regrets as time will move on with or without you. So look forward and have a clear vision on your goals and work towards it but at the same time, do not forget the benefactors that put you where you are today. So no matter how tough the journey is, don't give up until you get there. The proccess to your goals make sense only to yourself for everyone else, it's the results that matters to them. They do not give a shit about how hard the journey is. At the end of the day, they will praise you and be with you when you succeed but they will abandon you with nothing but sacarsm when you fail.

Life as it is will always be full of ups and downs but nonetheless, never be beaten by it. If a need arise, seek a channel, a medium to displace the fustration. Be it legal or illegal, moral or immoral, it's your call. Since you can't change your past, might as well live with it and make decisions today that will change your future. And it's because life is never a smooth sailing journey, you learnt important lessons, adapt to changes, and respect and appreciate everything around. Ain't no saint or God to understand these simple aspects of life but sometimes, the downs are just storms bringing shadows to haunt you, tormenting you whenever there is light of your past. They will blow away soon but be prepared for another one to come and they will keep coming until you becomes a discarded pawn piece on God's chessboard.

Walking in another person's shadow is frightening but it is more frightening to walk in your own shadows. They will follow you wherever you go and watch whatever you do. There is no way to cast them away unless the sun never shines again. Walk in darkness and let flames consume your soul. No you do not need the devil to do that but be the devil yourself. Light is blinding and misleading but darkness is quiet and mysterious. Living in a life of darkness is not really that bad...so when night falls, just be prepared to look over your shoulder to make sure that there is no one or shadows following you.

See you around.

Welcome me back...

- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -

Firstly let me welcome me back to this twisted angst-filled community once again. My only source of alter-ego where me, only me reign supreme over all you filths! The 6 months lapse from Sept 2006 till today, I shall not justify it in anyway simply because I FUCKING dont need to explain myself to anyone!

Nothing much have change except that I am losing my faith each day as my main inspiration and support is crumbling away with time. My fuse's got shorter and I am SO GOD DAMN FUCKED each and everyday of my life. Got no more channels to let out my angst, isolated and FUCKED! I hate each and everyone of you motherfuckers out there. I have simply lost it...I see no hope, no future...God, who ever you are and what ever religion you are heading, grant me a 9mm so I can pump lead to all those who oppose me. Everything is just FUCKING LIES and illusionary. Yet I don't see my end but rather I see all you motherfuckers DIE!

A friend of mine of 10+ years got married yesterday morning and I was there to witness the proccess. Really blessed and sweet or just digging a grave of future problems? I really don't know. Each and everyday I intoxicate myself with more and more tabacco and alcohol and I keep telling myself not to lose it but I know I am just acting strong.

*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*
*FUCKED*