- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
After being introduced the Japanese drama densha otoko (電車男) sometime ago, I managed to obtain a free copy while working here in Japan. The synopsis of it, I shall skip...but to put it simply, the warm tender love in the drama amidst the wacky humour have made me find myself in love again. Longing for long walks in the park, malls, etc holding someone's hand and the little affectionate hugs and kisses...
I really feel like falling in love all over again...the drama warmed my heart and the the tender loving affectionation melted my soul. Yep, I almost teared watching the drama...it's really really sweet. So taking a walk down memory lane, I recalled all the wonderful moments in my life where I was so in love with another person. Everything seems to be perfect when love is in the air...
Then a jolt of pain-striken lightning will flash, piercing my heart with the cruel reality...no beginning, there will never be an end. So no love to start, to tears to weap in the end. No expectations, no disappointments. I woke up realising how fragile love is and how vulnerable I was. I longed to be love and yet I choose to deny it knowing the consequences...
Until the day the person I am waiting appear, let love not hurt me but protect me.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
I wished I had my Psychology textbooks
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
Right here right now, time and again, I really wished I had my Psychology textbooks. The reason is because reading them and then understanding them would allow me to have a clearer pespective as to how people generally like to maintain an impression and how people generally like to project themselves to others positively. More often than usual, people would project WHAT THEY WANT OTHERS TO SEE than what others will see them.
Using this analogy, it's better to keep your profile low as the lesser the other party knows about you, the easier it is to paint an impression you want them to believe. In other words, people who know you inside out are more likely to catch you lying than those who do not. This way, if you start your life in a new place with everyone as strangers, you can fit yourself in as positively or as negatively as you would like. That is of course if you do not err and let the realy truth out.
It's an extremely complex and dangerous weapon to wield and more often than not, you will end up hurting yourself and will be forced to relocate to another place. Reading through the pages of my Psychology notes, understanding the philosophy behind and the various theories, a lot of voids are easily cleared up leaving only the final refining of thoughts who clearly explains everything, literally.
Having absorbed a chuck of knowledge from Psychology lessons, I tried applying the theories to my life and surprising, it works not to mention on certain occasions, I did obtain a desirable outcome. It's really not hard trying to create and then maintain the facade one would like to project, just remember that if you din't stray far from the real you, you can't go wrong. Of course filtering out the undesirable image or information that serves as the basis of the entire impression projection theory, is a good way to start, along the way the careful and tedious task to selecting the "right" info to screen is even more crucial.
After the initial set up is done, one should harness all forms of concentration to focus on only 1 single point, Impression Management.
Right here right now, time and again, I really wished I had my Psychology textbooks. The reason is because reading them and then understanding them would allow me to have a clearer pespective as to how people generally like to maintain an impression and how people generally like to project themselves to others positively. More often than usual, people would project WHAT THEY WANT OTHERS TO SEE than what others will see them.
Using this analogy, it's better to keep your profile low as the lesser the other party knows about you, the easier it is to paint an impression you want them to believe. In other words, people who know you inside out are more likely to catch you lying than those who do not. This way, if you start your life in a new place with everyone as strangers, you can fit yourself in as positively or as negatively as you would like. That is of course if you do not err and let the realy truth out.
It's an extremely complex and dangerous weapon to wield and more often than not, you will end up hurting yourself and will be forced to relocate to another place. Reading through the pages of my Psychology notes, understanding the philosophy behind and the various theories, a lot of voids are easily cleared up leaving only the final refining of thoughts who clearly explains everything, literally.
Having absorbed a chuck of knowledge from Psychology lessons, I tried applying the theories to my life and surprising, it works not to mention on certain occasions, I did obtain a desirable outcome. It's really not hard trying to create and then maintain the facade one would like to project, just remember that if you din't stray far from the real you, you can't go wrong. Of course filtering out the undesirable image or information that serves as the basis of the entire impression projection theory, is a good way to start, along the way the careful and tedious task to selecting the "right" info to screen is even more crucial.
After the initial set up is done, one should harness all forms of concentration to focus on only 1 single point, Impression Management.
Revelations...but from who.
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
Recently I seem to have sunken into a deep, vast amorphous space of thoughts. Almost everynight, with an Ice Mint Marlboro cancer stick popped snugly between my fingers, I sat leaning against my bed, fully kitted with sweaters and snowboarding jackets, I simply stoned there for a good amount of time. Although my central sensors are still functioning and I am fully aware of my surrounding, my cognition was splited into 2 halves. 1 for keeping my animalistic instincts of survival, the other one just wondered deeper into an ocean of thoughts to seek something.
Sometimes even when I am asleep, sub-conciously I wonder far away like being sucked into a huge black hole...but in the midst of all these, I could sense that something is waiting to be discovered. What could it be...an answer, the truth, an omen? I do not know, but this morning after I hit the snooze button on my clock, the short 30 minute slumber attacked my sub-conscious cognition and I was abruptly awoken by my room mate. It was then I realised that I had overslept and was late for work. Washed up and got changed in an amazingly insane record of 10 minutes compared to the usual 30 minutes, I grabbed my breakfast and ate en route to work.
Munching away my little blueberry buns while driving, bits and pieces of the revelation a while ago flashes thru and I could feel exactly like in the revelation. It's pretty frightening but I simply shrug the thought to the back of my head. Sometime ago I did posted a similiar post regarding this issue, and I think now, though not as often, the mental relapse are getting more intense with erratic occurences. What is going on...what or who is trying to tell me something?
Is it the mountains around me or is it the woods behind my house? Is it the food or is it my past? Sanity is failing me and anxiety is growing gradually with paranoia looming around the corners. I just hope this wild array of distorted thoughts are not going to explode exponentially into infinity.
My mind is weak, I could sense it...if it's really true that someone or something above the clouds or beneath the earth wants to possess my vulnerable mind, I will not give in without a fight. Never!
Recently I seem to have sunken into a deep, vast amorphous space of thoughts. Almost everynight, with an Ice Mint Marlboro cancer stick popped snugly between my fingers, I sat leaning against my bed, fully kitted with sweaters and snowboarding jackets, I simply stoned there for a good amount of time. Although my central sensors are still functioning and I am fully aware of my surrounding, my cognition was splited into 2 halves. 1 for keeping my animalistic instincts of survival, the other one just wondered deeper into an ocean of thoughts to seek something.
Sometimes even when I am asleep, sub-conciously I wonder far away like being sucked into a huge black hole...but in the midst of all these, I could sense that something is waiting to be discovered. What could it be...an answer, the truth, an omen? I do not know, but this morning after I hit the snooze button on my clock, the short 30 minute slumber attacked my sub-conscious cognition and I was abruptly awoken by my room mate. It was then I realised that I had overslept and was late for work. Washed up and got changed in an amazingly insane record of 10 minutes compared to the usual 30 minutes, I grabbed my breakfast and ate en route to work.
Munching away my little blueberry buns while driving, bits and pieces of the revelation a while ago flashes thru and I could feel exactly like in the revelation. It's pretty frightening but I simply shrug the thought to the back of my head. Sometime ago I did posted a similiar post regarding this issue, and I think now, though not as often, the mental relapse are getting more intense with erratic occurences. What is going on...what or who is trying to tell me something?
Is it the mountains around me or is it the woods behind my house? Is it the food or is it my past? Sanity is failing me and anxiety is growing gradually with paranoia looming around the corners. I just hope this wild array of distorted thoughts are not going to explode exponentially into infinity.
My mind is weak, I could sense it...if it's really true that someone or something above the clouds or beneath the earth wants to possess my vulnerable mind, I will not give in without a fight. Never!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Shame
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
Sometimes I really wonder if it's all worthwhile to go the extra mile even for a nano hassle for some people who label themselves as "Friends". These people will be really really nice, working and having fun, parties and maybe even have girlfriends. The are so likable and tend to do really well in social networking.
However, they will bare their fangs at the slightest monetary dispute, and project how pathetic their lives are, among all other factors. At times, they will disappear unknowingly for a indefinite period of time and then only to surface when they need help, clearly forgetting that they had broken all the rules of engagement prior.
Haven't these people any shame or the slightest guilt? Not even an apology, redemption or whatsoever to patch or even mend the broken situation and yet they have the cheek to surface and request for assistance. I seriously doubt the thought of redemption even cross their "busy" minds. They would not even realise that they had actually treaded on an extremely fine line much less, being at fault.
I am utterly disgusted simply because they chose to bare their fangs only after numerous years of established and prudent relationship. Why not the beginning I wondered...and yet the answers will always remain a mystery.
I was pissed initially but in the end, I still choose to go the extra mile to help them hoping that they will realise the vulnerable fraternity. I deliberately left my name behind to see if my efforts were appreciated. Well, I know my answers will come in a matter of time, if not, there...such an illutionary facade will probably be better off without as I really find it extremely tiring and uncomfortable to keep up.
Sometimes I really wonder if it's all worthwhile to go the extra mile even for a nano hassle for some people who label themselves as "Friends". These people will be really really nice, working and having fun, parties and maybe even have girlfriends. The are so likable and tend to do really well in social networking.
However, they will bare their fangs at the slightest monetary dispute, and project how pathetic their lives are, among all other factors. At times, they will disappear unknowingly for a indefinite period of time and then only to surface when they need help, clearly forgetting that they had broken all the rules of engagement prior.
Haven't these people any shame or the slightest guilt? Not even an apology, redemption or whatsoever to patch or even mend the broken situation and yet they have the cheek to surface and request for assistance. I seriously doubt the thought of redemption even cross their "busy" minds. They would not even realise that they had actually treaded on an extremely fine line much less, being at fault.
I am utterly disgusted simply because they chose to bare their fangs only after numerous years of established and prudent relationship. Why not the beginning I wondered...and yet the answers will always remain a mystery.
I was pissed initially but in the end, I still choose to go the extra mile to help them hoping that they will realise the vulnerable fraternity. I deliberately left my name behind to see if my efforts were appreciated. Well, I know my answers will come in a matter of time, if not, there...such an illutionary facade will probably be better off without as I really find it extremely tiring and uncomfortable to keep up.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
General hypothesis of people and their actions
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
The general consensus between 2 person or more, in the abscence of constraints like blood ties and hereditary factors versus their actions can be attributed or represented by a simple normal distribution graph with a mean of 0 and a variance of 1. While the Y axis represent the extreme exponential (capped) tolerence of the extent a normal person will sacrifice his / her actions for another person, reflected by a positive relationship on the right side of the mean, and a negative relationship on the left side of the mean. The correlation between the 2 variables on the X and Y axis respectively can therefore be interpreted as the general relationship of people and the extent to which they would react, sacrifice or choice of action to take with direct reference to the Y variable to either assist, or to benefit both positively and negatively.
This relationship is best illustrated by the following example. 2 person with a relationship of a max variance of 1, either friends, acquaintances, or intimately linked, and the extent to which they will commit and accomplish a request, not necessary amounting to a demand, from the other party. Accordingly to the graph, the trigger to measure the correlation is not the actual relationship between the 2 person but rather the extenxt that they will go to determine the correlation. In short, it's not the mental proximity of 2 person that determines to what extent they would sacrifice themselves for the other person. but rather the other way round.
The choices that one make, the sacrifices and the commitment will be the most influential factor to determine how much this person weighs the relationship with the other person.
This is also a probable indicator although not actually proven or disproven, to test who your actual friends are. I have apparently come up with this hypothesis after allocating and then from subsequent observation from how people who you call friends can cook up with a relatively indepth excuses to cover themselves for not being able to complete a simple task that was previously assigned to them. Despite the fact that these people will actually affirm their competency and will remind you numerous times that they will get the task done. That's because they simply knew at that instance that I would be of great use to them sometime in the future which literally implies that the equilibrium of the general consensus between 2 people was already skewed from that instance. While I clearly assigned a task based purely on trust and respect for this person to get it done, it is clear that no one else gets it simply because of the paramount importance I put on both the task and to the person assigned.
It's only when the other person realised that he or she have alternative options to get what he / she wants and I have simply slipped down on the priority scale, that's when I realised that the relationship held with this person have to be reviewed since I knew the task that I have assigned have slip to the tail end of the distribution graph. This implies that I no longer should be bothered with any negligible relationship with this person since a simple task to be done can generate so much outcomes which none of them would be dispersed anywhere near the mean of the graph.
On the other hand, there are some people, when assigned simple tasks, generate intense and irratic results which is dispersed around the mean. This simply implies that the extent to which these people will take to accomplish a task given, clearly indicates that they do weigh the correlation between 2 people significantly. These people will always seem bland and will not actually impress but the results they generate are usually astonishing.
The above observation and test results have allowed me to compose a renew and clearer understanding of which friends to keep, and to what extent I would go for them.
As for the rest who are so good at cooking up excuses, go fuck yourself.
The general consensus between 2 person or more, in the abscence of constraints like blood ties and hereditary factors versus their actions can be attributed or represented by a simple normal distribution graph with a mean of 0 and a variance of 1. While the Y axis represent the extreme exponential (capped) tolerence of the extent a normal person will sacrifice his / her actions for another person, reflected by a positive relationship on the right side of the mean, and a negative relationship on the left side of the mean. The correlation between the 2 variables on the X and Y axis respectively can therefore be interpreted as the general relationship of people and the extent to which they would react, sacrifice or choice of action to take with direct reference to the Y variable to either assist, or to benefit both positively and negatively.
This relationship is best illustrated by the following example. 2 person with a relationship of a max variance of 1, either friends, acquaintances, or intimately linked, and the extent to which they will commit and accomplish a request, not necessary amounting to a demand, from the other party. Accordingly to the graph, the trigger to measure the correlation is not the actual relationship between the 2 person but rather the extenxt that they will go to determine the correlation. In short, it's not the mental proximity of 2 person that determines to what extent they would sacrifice themselves for the other person. but rather the other way round.
The choices that one make, the sacrifices and the commitment will be the most influential factor to determine how much this person weighs the relationship with the other person.
This is also a probable indicator although not actually proven or disproven, to test who your actual friends are. I have apparently come up with this hypothesis after allocating and then from subsequent observation from how people who you call friends can cook up with a relatively indepth excuses to cover themselves for not being able to complete a simple task that was previously assigned to them. Despite the fact that these people will actually affirm their competency and will remind you numerous times that they will get the task done. That's because they simply knew at that instance that I would be of great use to them sometime in the future which literally implies that the equilibrium of the general consensus between 2 people was already skewed from that instance. While I clearly assigned a task based purely on trust and respect for this person to get it done, it is clear that no one else gets it simply because of the paramount importance I put on both the task and to the person assigned.
It's only when the other person realised that he or she have alternative options to get what he / she wants and I have simply slipped down on the priority scale, that's when I realised that the relationship held with this person have to be reviewed since I knew the task that I have assigned have slip to the tail end of the distribution graph. This implies that I no longer should be bothered with any negligible relationship with this person since a simple task to be done can generate so much outcomes which none of them would be dispersed anywhere near the mean of the graph.
On the other hand, there are some people, when assigned simple tasks, generate intense and irratic results which is dispersed around the mean. This simply implies that the extent to which these people will take to accomplish a task given, clearly indicates that they do weigh the correlation between 2 people significantly. These people will always seem bland and will not actually impress but the results they generate are usually astonishing.
The above observation and test results have allowed me to compose a renew and clearer understanding of which friends to keep, and to what extent I would go for them.
As for the rest who are so good at cooking up excuses, go fuck yourself.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Lost in dreams
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
It seems like I have got what I wanted...my dream to be in Japan after working my ass off for so long since the day I decided to pursue it and not let anything or anyone stop me. It started out with a neutral cause, no evil intentions or good reflections, just a plain simple cause to leave a depressing place of sorrows to a new place, a new start and a new beginning of a new book of my life, closing the old book with the last of the chapters dedicated to spiritual healing of the mind and soul.
Indeed, I have come a long way from where it all started and I have witnessed and experience events that may have eventually altered my destiny. But the past, it had always haunted me and no matter how hard I tried, I could never break free from the chains shackled to my ankles, the chains of despair, angst and hate. So along this ardous path to seek my destiny, people along the way which I have come into contact with, some vanished and leave the slightest trail while a handful few, leave a permanant mark, forever etched into my soul, following me till the end. I have burn and I have hurt, but it`s the only way to protect my soul and it seems that only one, outta of the many could see this and gladly sacrifice for my cause. This is noble but naive as well, but the promises made before and the choices made after have put me to shame and guilt and at times regret my actions. These series of events would have significance impact on my decisions and ultimately, alter my destiny.
Gripping by a complex network of unsorted and unsolicited informations flowing thru my head, I couldn`t help but execise restrain and also refrain from bereaking down, so more often than usual, I would inject nicotine and alcohol into my bloodstream just to temporary stabilise my mental equilibrium. But soon, the heavily skewed past clearly outweighs the future and so I knew I had to set my priorities right, like not losing track of where I had first started and also to reach my dreams at all cause.
And so despite a lot of essential influences, I stood by my dreams and so that sort of explains why the hell I am in Japan now. The truth is that I really liked it here and maybe it`s only the beginning but I am sute I would love every second of it for a long time to come. Let`s just say that I was indeed overwhelmed with enthusiasm even before I come to Japan and I was so fucking sure it would not died out...yeah, the ever growing appeal that Japan has to offer. Well for me, being in this new place is really a blessing since I badly wanted a new place to start my life. Not having people who have known me for so long to judge me or to put up with my nonsensical blatant and rude behavior, abide to my biddings and unruly snobbish ideas and also to leave behind my disgusted, despised and angst-ridden life.
Well since I know myself too well than anyone else, I know it would be hard to change my rowdy ways, but I will definitely restrain from getting into silly stints to get deported back to Singapore which I was born and bred and which I upmostly detest. Not that I detest the country in general, but it`s the people and the attitude that I hate...I leave it to your imagination. Simply to put it bluntly, I do not want to die and then reincarnate to lead a new life, that`s all too troublesome so I chose the easier road to redemption, at least for my own redemption which I would only have to answer to my own actions. Fuck the rest and what they think, I am selfish and I am ass so let me be the way I am...too bad `cos the "others" should just mind their own business. Bloody fuckers...imposing on others and leeching information to propagate...FUCK you assholes.
Alrite, getting too carried away there. Japan seems to be the only one place that I want to be in and living despite a lot of controversies surrounding it. Heck the rest, for most are just putting me down since they can`t be here and I seriouslly doubt if they really had my interest at heart...BULLSHIT, they are just jealous they can`t do it so they want to discourage my by fanning false justifications. Well once again, too bad for I am here in Japan living fantastically as the job is everyones` ideal job, pretty good pay with exceptional slack working hours and those idiots are still living in the shit hell hole and slogging their sorry asses off.
But somehow it`s surprising that now that I am here for close to 2 months, I seem to have hit a dead end...No no dun get me wrong for I am still loving every second of it but I kinda needed a new boost of exitement which I am still seeking, maybe a hot Japanese chick would do the trick but I really doubt it...I can`t seem to mould or visualise this weird ever changing form of mass that is messing with my sanity. It`s a feeling that you feel that something is missing in your life and yet you couldn`t find what is that exact thing that you are searching after fitting in possible candidates from your all time wishlist. Hot Japanese girlfriends, money, cars, toys, ice hockey, sex, cigarettes, booze, porn, dogs, etc... I have tried fitting almost all of the possible options to make sense of the weird shape but in avail. Sub-consciously I feek that I am getting pretty close to solving the mystery but reality just distant me from the truth.
Not to worry too much but these days, I just let the random relapse pass and not really putting in much effort to make sense of it. I have much more important matters to attend to...like sleep, play around with my sweet MacBook, my car, etc...
In summary, I guessed I have fulfiled a part of my many insane dreams which many would have thought that it`s impossible as all they ever do is contemplate and whine. Unlike me, I knew I was gonna to dream and yet live my dreams so after years of planning and working my ass off for it, I get there. So if you want to dream, better make sure you live if, otherwise why bother. Well, literally I was inspired significantly by the Guiness ad that ran on TV for a while featuring Adam King with the taglines, "If someone gotta do it, why not let it be you" and those phrases accompanied with my own, "If not here, where? If not now, when? and if not you then who?" principles, I must admit I have a little, yeah just a little achievement for the record.
And so lastly, I am still constantly dreaming about many other things only to be too intensely drawn into it and then find myself lost somewhere.
Adios...
It seems like I have got what I wanted...my dream to be in Japan after working my ass off for so long since the day I decided to pursue it and not let anything or anyone stop me. It started out with a neutral cause, no evil intentions or good reflections, just a plain simple cause to leave a depressing place of sorrows to a new place, a new start and a new beginning of a new book of my life, closing the old book with the last of the chapters dedicated to spiritual healing of the mind and soul.
Indeed, I have come a long way from where it all started and I have witnessed and experience events that may have eventually altered my destiny. But the past, it had always haunted me and no matter how hard I tried, I could never break free from the chains shackled to my ankles, the chains of despair, angst and hate. So along this ardous path to seek my destiny, people along the way which I have come into contact with, some vanished and leave the slightest trail while a handful few, leave a permanant mark, forever etched into my soul, following me till the end. I have burn and I have hurt, but it`s the only way to protect my soul and it seems that only one, outta of the many could see this and gladly sacrifice for my cause. This is noble but naive as well, but the promises made before and the choices made after have put me to shame and guilt and at times regret my actions. These series of events would have significance impact on my decisions and ultimately, alter my destiny.
Gripping by a complex network of unsorted and unsolicited informations flowing thru my head, I couldn`t help but execise restrain and also refrain from bereaking down, so more often than usual, I would inject nicotine and alcohol into my bloodstream just to temporary stabilise my mental equilibrium. But soon, the heavily skewed past clearly outweighs the future and so I knew I had to set my priorities right, like not losing track of where I had first started and also to reach my dreams at all cause.
And so despite a lot of essential influences, I stood by my dreams and so that sort of explains why the hell I am in Japan now. The truth is that I really liked it here and maybe it`s only the beginning but I am sute I would love every second of it for a long time to come. Let`s just say that I was indeed overwhelmed with enthusiasm even before I come to Japan and I was so fucking sure it would not died out...yeah, the ever growing appeal that Japan has to offer. Well for me, being in this new place is really a blessing since I badly wanted a new place to start my life. Not having people who have known me for so long to judge me or to put up with my nonsensical blatant and rude behavior, abide to my biddings and unruly snobbish ideas and also to leave behind my disgusted, despised and angst-ridden life.
Well since I know myself too well than anyone else, I know it would be hard to change my rowdy ways, but I will definitely restrain from getting into silly stints to get deported back to Singapore which I was born and bred and which I upmostly detest. Not that I detest the country in general, but it`s the people and the attitude that I hate...I leave it to your imagination. Simply to put it bluntly, I do not want to die and then reincarnate to lead a new life, that`s all too troublesome so I chose the easier road to redemption, at least for my own redemption which I would only have to answer to my own actions. Fuck the rest and what they think, I am selfish and I am ass so let me be the way I am...too bad `cos the "others" should just mind their own business. Bloody fuckers...imposing on others and leeching information to propagate...FUCK you assholes.
Alrite, getting too carried away there. Japan seems to be the only one place that I want to be in and living despite a lot of controversies surrounding it. Heck the rest, for most are just putting me down since they can`t be here and I seriouslly doubt if they really had my interest at heart...BULLSHIT, they are just jealous they can`t do it so they want to discourage my by fanning false justifications. Well once again, too bad for I am here in Japan living fantastically as the job is everyones` ideal job, pretty good pay with exceptional slack working hours and those idiots are still living in the shit hell hole and slogging their sorry asses off.
But somehow it`s surprising that now that I am here for close to 2 months, I seem to have hit a dead end...No no dun get me wrong for I am still loving every second of it but I kinda needed a new boost of exitement which I am still seeking, maybe a hot Japanese chick would do the trick but I really doubt it...I can`t seem to mould or visualise this weird ever changing form of mass that is messing with my sanity. It`s a feeling that you feel that something is missing in your life and yet you couldn`t find what is that exact thing that you are searching after fitting in possible candidates from your all time wishlist. Hot Japanese girlfriends, money, cars, toys, ice hockey, sex, cigarettes, booze, porn, dogs, etc... I have tried fitting almost all of the possible options to make sense of the weird shape but in avail. Sub-consciously I feek that I am getting pretty close to solving the mystery but reality just distant me from the truth.
Not to worry too much but these days, I just let the random relapse pass and not really putting in much effort to make sense of it. I have much more important matters to attend to...like sleep, play around with my sweet MacBook, my car, etc...
In summary, I guessed I have fulfiled a part of my many insane dreams which many would have thought that it`s impossible as all they ever do is contemplate and whine. Unlike me, I knew I was gonna to dream and yet live my dreams so after years of planning and working my ass off for it, I get there. So if you want to dream, better make sure you live if, otherwise why bother. Well, literally I was inspired significantly by the Guiness ad that ran on TV for a while featuring Adam King with the taglines, "If someone gotta do it, why not let it be you" and those phrases accompanied with my own, "If not here, where? If not now, when? and if not you then who?" principles, I must admit I have a little, yeah just a little achievement for the record.
And so lastly, I am still constantly dreaming about many other things only to be too intensely drawn into it and then find myself lost somewhere.
Adios...
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