Cavern of Solitude

- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -

While I am settling in to fit into my new life here in Japan, my constant updates on the other blog seems to cater to only the joyful facade. Here once again, I can rest and spat the other side of me or rather the real side of me, untamed, untainted and raw.

Well seem like I am really living my dreams now since I had always wanted to come here. But now that I am here, a lot of emotional changes have been going...which have resulted in a cognitive shift. Somehow time and again, I eat the words that I spew before with so much confidence...but rite now I am lookng back at the things that I`ve always taken for granted and the pampered life that I have led. I was so confident back then that I would have absolutely no regrets or whatsoever...but...things are really different rite now.

No dun get me wrong...I am not regretting anything and I am definitely not questioning my own beliefs and actions...It`s just that I tend to find myself closer to what I really wanted in life and also look at things from a different angle and treasure everything around me. I am just thinking...all these distortions in my head is like my brain going through a rather detailed "defragmentation" to cleanse up the filth that have been accumulating in there all these years. But I guess I`d be alrite...

Being born a Singaporean, I live with my parents all these years and that meals and soiled clothes are always taken care of by my mum. Food is always ready and even if it`s not, within a vicinity of 1 km radius from my house, I have like more than 10 food joints. Well now that I am here in Japan, I really have to live off myself...I am still in the midst of figuring out how to do laundry, cook my meals and stuffs, which are literally things that I have seriously taken for granted. So being independent is the only way I can survive. As compared to my American counterpart, Grant, he`s probably much better off. Well that`s the thing...Singaporean are so pampered thy really do not know what it is to live aboard. Most are just too comfortable to give up and risk everything but others would probably never last more than 2 months.

For me, it`s probably due to me obsession with Japan and all the other stuffs that memerized me that is helping me do fine though. But then again if I had a chance to travel back in time, I`d still have chosen this path. Stepping out and see the world and experience a whole new horizon while giving up everything back home...it`s definitely worth it, every minute, every second of it. Ultimately it just boils down to adjustment and getting used to it. Since no one is born an adult and everyone starts from infancy, I am darn sure it`s just a matter of looking optimistic and make everyday a fun, new day with new lessons and experience.

Food here is Japan is not an issue especially since I LOVE Japanese food. They have lotsa readily available food joints around. Other than the normal convenient stores that litter the city, take away Bentos and other stuffs are easily available. But the thing is that the new place that I will be going to...it`s way up into the woods and I have to travel on my little motorbike for at least 10 minutes at 30km per hour just to get to the main street where the food and convenient stores are.

Well, I really wished I had someone I knew from Singapore to share this whole new experience with me and carve out a niche here in Japan but unfortunately, there is none who is willing to hold on to their dreams and not stop till they reached it. Many of my dear friends have just too many reasons to hold them back but ultimately it`s their decisions and their life. I too have reasons to hold me back but I really didn`t want to give up my dreams for anything, anyone.

Feel so much better pouring out all these thoughts...

Fret not, I shall not neglect this little space where I ripped open my skin and show my real soul.

See you around...