Subconscious

- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -

Back in the days when I was still in my adolescence, I remembered clearly that during a particular art class, each student was given a fruit to draw. We had to mix the paint and play with assorted colors to paint the fruit we were given. So as usual, the weird side of me started to look around and see what the others actually did before I started. It's funny but seems like since young, I had this condition which some might tink it's paranoid but as far as I am concern, I tink is just alrite. I just like to sit rite at the end of the class with nothing but the cold, solid war behind me. I hated to have the feeling that someone is watching me from behind and with that kinda mentality, I really couldn't do anything without the constant fear. Though it's really nothing but still it just freaked me out...and the fact that I'd rather watch and observe what others are doing than to live in constant fear that I'm being watched. That carried way on into my teens and sort of waned as I grew older. I just like observing others and visualize how people react to certain situations or stimulus. The way people react and behave fasinated me greatly but at times, I find myself weird...

Ok back to the art subject...and so everyone else handed up their "Master Piece". So when the results were released back to us sometime later, I was really surprised that the art teacher spoke really insane words. She said that only 2 students out of the whole class had scored 90 and above outta 100 and I felt since I hated school, the probability of me being able to ace the subject was close to zero. Denial could only get me this far, I was 1 of the 2 aces.

My reason that provided an insight was as follows, "The teacher had deliberately given us different fruits to paint and that each fruit was not perfect. They had flaws, weird colors and strange shapes. The result had proven that a high percentage of students had actually drew what they WANTED TO SEE rather that what they SAW. This clearly justified that it's normal for everyone one to pursue perfection and that most cannot accept that there are imperfections. They simply cover the flaws and filter out stimulus that are inconsistent with their thoughts. And that resulted in them drawing what they thought they saw. Only me and the other student actually drew the exact fruit with the imperfections and discoloration. That was then I realise that I was one of the few who just might be artistically inclined. But then again I wasn't sure. I just felt that I was strange and different and I didn't fit in but the existence of another student with the same mentality comforted me. I had to admit she was a head-turner. The looks and the intelligence, too bad we didn't got together."

And so that was it...just had to fill this in after learning about LOW LATENT INHIBITON (LLI) from Prison Break series. A condition that Mike had suffered, coupled with his high IQ that makes him an instantaneous genius. Nope I am definitely not claiming I am a genius but just that conditions and disorders of the mind CANNOT be measured accurately. It's just weird.