Chances...do I deserve them?

- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -

Chance, how many time will a person who have sinned either deliberately or innocently be granted? 1? 2? Just how many will be enuff? Though you might not know it, sometimes, people just ask or do things and will indirectly without thinking of the consequences and they seek to redress their grievences only after knowing that they have hurt someone else. But do laws give these people a chance? Not often the case if the cases are extreme.

Though I too have sinned and have disappointed you, I can only apologise and ask for forgiveness. As to whether will you give me another chance, I will not and shall not ask. I am sorry...it was a indirect question and an impromptu one with no strings attached and I do admit it's a stupid question but it's just that I rely a lot on trust. It's hard to trust anyone these days you know. And since not much is know about me or you so the stupid question. I hope everything can just be salvage and be the way it was like when I told you I was dreaming...I can sense the distance and I really do not like it. I am not possessive and many can vouch for it but rather it's more like a random question.

There's is nothing I can do much now but to once again wait for you to move a chess piece, only then will I be able to plot and move mine. I used to say that everyone else is just a mere chess piece on my chessboard that can be sacrificed but little did I realise that I have not knowingly become someone else's chess piece. I do have a choice to skip the chessboard but I do not seek that path for reasons only known to me. I hold on till an alternative comes along and I weigh the consequences to choose which side of the balance will I let go. I have been hurt real deep and I do not trust anyone else and this is the only way I can protect myself from collapsing which is by making everyone else collapse and you in turn will carry on this cycle to someone else.

I just want to sincerely apologise to you for making such a mistake but if you do want to blame me, please do so only after knowing what I have been through. I hope for better days to come and also to minimize the distance between us. *sigh* My love for you have cause you more hurt and sadness than what I initially set out to do, to give you happiness and warmth.

Like me, you longed for warmth and love but the past have gripped you tight and poisoned your mind only to lock away that pure, warmth heart in thick layers of ice. Before you get engulfed in angst and sins like me, I will show you the path to redemption...haha yeah, the path to the ultimate redemption. I shall turn you into someone more evil than me, more sick and more vicious. All is nothing but a illusion, an act, a play, a show. Haha...answerable only to myself, you will soon sow the seeds like how I had planned...until my master grant me eternity, I will have more minions to carry out my master plan...to turn this rotten work into something more rotten.

But at times, I really do feel something positive for humanity's sake. Maybe that's the missing angel in me that have been caged all these while. I will not waver and I will not fall...