In the Silence of the night...

- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -

Here, late in this Friday night, where most people are already sleeping, maybe some are still partying, I'm here alone pondering about all the sweet memories as well as the tearful ones of my past, the years that I have walked so far...

Somethings still put a smile across my face while others seems to trigger the lacrimal glands...hmm, looking back now, there are so many things, people, places, etc that I badly miss..but seems like they have either been forgotten by time or that that we have moved on without them...Everyone has their own lives and in this fast moving tiny Island, where competition is intense in everything, there are hardly time for us to ponder at the past except like now, where it's late in the night where serenity and tranquility flourish everywhere and calmness sets in the heart, tired emotionally but not physically and never mentally.

Science is advanced but how long will it be for time travel to be possible, to rationalise and realize the full potential of quantum physics? Only time will tell and if there's ever 1 thing that I regret most up till now, I'd guessed that it must be the fact that there are so many things I'd really want to go back to the past and change but I'd never do that as it would change the present and future as well...

Many times, I give advice to others to be strong and move on, and many times, I give the impression to others that I carry a bold and strong front, well the truth is that I, myself cannot actually let go of the past totally, that sort of explains why I'd rather remain hidden beneath this cold, merciless mask to shroud this vulnerable side of my self-denial.

Life is just a matter of a couple of good long ones amidst the few bad ones...sometimes I felt so bad at the mere thought of losing my parents as everyone has to go one day, yeah it's a natural passage that all have to go through but I stll remember those times when my grandpa left...*sigh* it's such a solemn feeling and I really can't bear to let my parents go...or anyone around me...why did I suddenly fear Death so much? Maybe the words of one of my colleague who have since left for Thailand to become a monk in a monastry stashed away in the forest where he said is not tainted by the modern world...at least the monks there don't carry any communication gadgets like cell phones and they don't even take taxi rides and water is to be collected every day by the river...a kind of life that rids of all worldy desire, where only nature, exile and serenity will prevail...seems kinda holy and divine but I doubt many would choose this path...

So what's the true meaning of life? I guessed it's different for many...Seven Years in Tibet is a nice movie to get one started as to what is the true meaning of life? Is it just study, get a degree, get a job, then get a life partner, settle down, have kids, live another few years, retire and then death...? If it's so already planned, why are ther still so many of us trying so hard to pursue our goals? Can we ever make it? *Sigh* Passion are different from Rice Bowls...there are no passion without rice bowls but rice bowls will go on without passion...Though it's already a norm here that we cannot disagree, I beg to differ...I seriously wanna break out of this norm and life the kinda of life I really want...I really don't wanna regret later on as I've already did for the past...

Okay so much for all the deviated stray of thoughts...My airbrushing instructor told me that of all the students that he taught, I would probably be the best student he ever taught...and my shifu's master which is my "shi gong" commented that my work was neat and not bad...so I guess that after all my art potential is indeed there...but mostly I credit it to my perfectionist nature and the passion I had...I can never really do something great without the passion...

Maybe I could exploit my maximum art potential by working on art related stuffs...maybe...hmmm but I'd try to if only I have the time...and oh yeah I was so busy at work these few weeks I actually forgot my dear Yanling's birthday...so sad...so I herby sincerely offer my apologies to you, my Dear Yanling okie? Will sent you your belated present soon...so hang in there...

Okay I guess that's much about it for now...lengthy though