Tribute To You Joscelin

Here is an extract from my previous blog as i find it really meaningful...1:33pm 02/02/05

Okay, its like exactly a week since i last updated tis deary blog...well the first thing i wanna add is tat on sunday evening, i went to a church...somewhere tat i shouldnt hav been in the first place...i guess a at tis point of time, you guys mus be wondering why i cant go to a church...be patient and read on...its not tat i cant go to a church, after all, i'm a free thinker so i guess i can go to any churches, temples, mosques...but the on last sunday, i went to tis particular church for an awfully wrong reason...a reason or cause watever you might called it, up till now, i still cant accept the fact...tat my fellow friend tat i last invited to my bday party tis year had left for the lord...damn, it wasnt natural, it was a freaking accident...one tat should never had happen...though i never knew the real reason or the answers tat many are desprately seeking, deep in my heart, i blame the damn driver of the car tat took my friend away and her cousin away...it was featured in the papers if i'm not wrong...a fatal car crash in australia tat resulted in the death of 2 young 20 year old girls whom which one was my friend...rumours tat the guy driving the car was actually racing...no one knows how true tat was...but he did not died...tat was my friend there damn it...although angst and hatred filled swallowed me now, i'm still sober, sane...

Her name was joscelin...i used to confide in her when i had problems in the past...she was a nice girl with a bright future...went to a memorial service held for her and her cousin on sunday...a solemn aura filled the hall of the church...in the table in front of the stage, 2 photos filled with flowers and bears and cards stood quietly...last yr, dec 01, 2002, one of my poly friend, left for the lord too...he died in a bike accident caused by a careless and reckless cab driver...i tot..."wat a bad way to end a good yr..."...den come tis yr...history repeats itself...those are my friends...is it realli fated? in both cases, i choose no...why, cos both are due to the negligence of the the culprit...though sometimes, i myself commit acts of negligence, i can say tat i am no saint too...but still i blame these damn culprits for taking my friends away from me...the section below is dedicated to you Jos...

"Till we meet again, like wat the pastor had said...its never goodbye...its only time tat had taken you away but never eternally...though the time i noe you may be short, i'll cherish those memories tat you gave me...those times when you stood by my side when i was down...those words of encouragement, those laughters tat cheer me up...i realli regret to catching up with you when i had the chance...but i guess yr presence at my birthday tis year will be the best gift from you...my dear friend...yr departure is so sudden and so untimely...why did all tis had to happen...or issit like wat the pastor had said," God had greater need for you up there..."...or did he say all tat jus to console us...i dont noe...i realli dont...there are many questions left unanswered...like everyone else, i yearn to noe these answers...but i guess its realli no point to noe them now...wat difference does it make...the truth...so wat if i noe the truth...its not like i can prevent tis tragedy...its not like i can bring you back...let all the questions be left unanswered...let the chapter of tis story close with yr departure...let all the questions, queries, doubts be closed with the book...let us all onli bring with us those memories tat you gav us...time will heal our wounds...but it will never erase away our memories...our friendship will never fade with time...it will be eternal...i used to say, " goodbye my friend...take care and live well..." in times like tis...but the pastor at your church realli enlighten me with those words...i guess for now i'll jus sign off here..till we meet again my friend..."