- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
Staying true to my original schedule, I had a rather unexpected long summer break as compared to previous years. But I reckoned that this might just be the calm before the storm as a blessing like this seems rather unlikely in the light of the current global epidemic catastrophe. The potent (but not as lethal as SARS) H1N1 virus is causing quite a ruckus and the quarantine being served to me will definitely lengthened my holidays at the expense of other soon to come, unpleasant occurrences for at least that was what I wanted to believe since there is no such thing as a free lunch.
1 extra week earlier to head home and 1 extra week later to start work. All this totals my annual holidays to more than 2 months and I mean PAID holidays. Of course there is a catch to all this and that the difference lies in the fact that back home I am not scrutinized 24/7 by preying eyes and I am pretty much free to venture outside my house given that nothing really severe develops from there. Whereas here and I mean here in Japan, I had to dutifully serve out my "sentence" since the chances of me rubbing shoulders with someone familar in the crowds are relatively high. To escape this possibility, I chose to sleep 50 odd hours away in 1 week since I didn't want to waste those well-deserved holidays. That is until my curious nature whisked me away and I popped by those less prominent places for a change.
And here comes the mental block which I am having trouble releasing a fresh refresh. It's weird since my limited command of the language can only allow me to espress a small fraction of my mental well-being. Let start from a long long time ago when I had a dream to follow and I was ready to ditch everything around me to embark on it. Now my mind is reading a different set of prophecies. One that light a path of return to the place of the origin. The other to continue blazing the path and never look back. Indeed I am at a self-imposed crossroad locked in my own asylum of thoughts. Issues that didn't seem to bother me in the past are no longer flickering at the back of my head...they are instead real vivid images that I could stretch out my hand and touch them. I longed for many things, people and places that I had denied, I longed for those hugs and kisses, those intimate moments, those movie sessions...The elders have all aged with more wisdom and I am becoming one step closer to losing them. These unhealthy thoughts are frightening and at times I would imagine myself going before them so that I can skup the teary and heart crushing part. Silly you might say but these are the very scenes that loop in my head time and again.
No great cause for alarm since I am not confessing that I am losing my sanity but rather I have occasional major relapses that are emotionally inclined. These can be attribted to the fact that I live alone in isolation but there's always another side of the story. You see at times like this I want time on one side of the balance and youth on the other side of the balance which in reality is impossible simultaneously. Using the same analogy, I want the abundance of space, fresh breathing air and vast mountainous landscapes to greet me daily and yet at the same time I want my families, my love ones, my stuffs, money, friends, etc to be by my side as well which of cours can't be done.
Sometimes I really hate to admit but I used to loathe my mum and her constant naggings, etc but now the silence that I am enjoying now are pretty empty. I do miss my mum and my dad and my brothers but still I want my freedom to do everything else. What would I do if I gave up everything that I had built from ground Zero, packed up and head back home only to find out that I still very much want to live in this dream of mine? When that time really comes, what should I do? Families aside, I really do miss my friends and those really special soulmateswhom I could run to and bury my head in their bosoms to cry or to snuggle up close with them and hope that morning doesn't come.
I am not sure if all this is just the result of a bad trip or a nightmare but I am sure these are real and very very real. Still standing at this crossroad, I begin to think of our forefathers who travelled across oceans to settle in SG. Maybe now it's the time where I should do so to explore abroad, neglect kindship and other factors that bind Chinese customs and roots. I am lost and I am not seeking a sign from God because this IS the path that I have chosen. And like I have said a million times before, I might not be a firm believer of any religion but I have no religion to lose. If one day I should cross paths with God and I get to see him / her in person, then that will be the day I convert to a particular sect with my heart and soul willingly.
Though I know that this time round I am merely keeping up with appearences with many people back home since I just don't have the heart to crumble their dreams. Like me, many of them had carved a path that they too wish to embark on. Their source of inspiration I presumed may or may not be drawn either directly or indirectly from me since I happened to be one of the few who went rogue and ventured to shores beyond. They most certainly look up to me since each time I talked to them, their eyes seems to glimmer with enthusiasm and all that simply reminds me of the past when I used to be like them idolizing someone else. That is when the egoistic nature of man himself puts pride as one of the 7 deadly sins for a damn good reason. And for that very reason itself, I am not willing to reveal to these sweet believers how frail I am actually on the inside and each day my rotten core is hollowing away to nothing more than an empty shell in the enar future. I do fear that day to come since I had not accomplished anything amazing feats till date. The damn usual paper chase in SG, the corporate ladder office politics and the "money rules everything" mentality have discounted me numerous times on various occasion and I seriously DO NOT LIKE it! Fuck all these trash!
So then it really comes to a point that I would not want to run or deny anymore and if you are reading this then too bad. I am desperate to find someone to fill in the void that is even if it's temporary since I had long considered someone of "sibiling" nature. I do lust for you...Just someone to hug on cold days, someone to wake up to and kiss me goodnithe, someone to ride the tides of time with me and someone who DO NOT show silly signs of independence, pride, ignorance or presumption!
Screw everything else!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, November 17, 2008
ナルシシズム
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
最近じゃなくて、いつもと思って、僕はナルシシズムにふけるだ。僕はね自分の顔が大好きだけど、いつも自信を持ってない。それではこの一年半で僕は一人で住んでいるだから。毎日できるのことは自分の顔をちゃんと見ている。前は家族と一緒住んでいった、鏡はもちろん皆と分けていった。あの時やパリずっと鏡前でうぬぼれなかった。つまり今はね家で自由自在に鏡を使うという事だ。しかし、自分の顔が好きより本当はもともと綺麗になりたい。僕はいつも綺麗な顔に取つかれって、もちろん自分の顔を変わって、自信もレベルアップができる。完璧な顔、体、頭、目、等、もちすべてがあるなら、これはいいんじゃない？ お前はどう？ そんな気持ちがあるのか？ も二十年ぐらいずっと見ている、面白くないという事はないと思うん。さあって、見れば見るほど、綺麗にたってと思うん。
時々鏡前に立ているの僕、相手の顔が自分顔のそばに見えるが欲しい。いつかまだ分からないけど、皆さんの口から出るの言葉は「縁」って、も聞いたくないよ。
最近じゃなくて、いつもと思って、僕はナルシシズムにふけるだ。僕はね自分の顔が大好きだけど、いつも自信を持ってない。それではこの一年半で僕は一人で住んでいるだから。毎日できるのことは自分の顔をちゃんと見ている。前は家族と一緒住んでいった、鏡はもちろん皆と分けていった。あの時やパリずっと鏡前でうぬぼれなかった。つまり今はね家で自由自在に鏡を使うという事だ。しかし、自分の顔が好きより本当はもともと綺麗になりたい。僕はいつも綺麗な顔に取つかれって、もちろん自分の顔を変わって、自信もレベルアップができる。完璧な顔、体、頭、目、等、もちすべてがあるなら、これはいいんじゃない？ お前はどう？ そんな気持ちがあるのか？ も二十年ぐらいずっと見ている、面白くないという事はないと思うん。さあって、見れば見るほど、綺麗にたってと思うん。
時々鏡前に立ているの僕、相手の顔が自分顔のそばに見えるが欲しい。いつかまだ分からないけど、皆さんの口から出るの言葉は「縁」って、も聞いたくないよ。
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Little little paws
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
Put your little paws on my hand and let me take you home. Let me groom you and let me nurture you. One day you will grow up to be strong and healthy. One day you will understand that each of us have a place in the world. But for now let me lay beside you and watch you sleep. Let those tender eyes of yours entice me with innocence.
When the time is right, you will look at me, frail and weak. For I am unable to groom you anymore. I am unable to stroke you fur and pat your head. And in one graceful movement, you will devour me to end my misery. Only then will we be together as one.
*Chomp* *Chomp*
Put your little paws on my hand and let me take you home. Let me groom you and let me nurture you. One day you will grow up to be strong and healthy. One day you will understand that each of us have a place in the world. But for now let me lay beside you and watch you sleep. Let those tender eyes of yours entice me with innocence.
When the time is right, you will look at me, frail and weak. For I am unable to groom you anymore. I am unable to stroke you fur and pat your head. And in one graceful movement, you will devour me to end my misery. Only then will we be together as one.
*Chomp* *Chomp*
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Hang me by the noose
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
Seems like another one of the random internal turmoil or is it that I am just breaking up under depression? Maybe to me a lot of things have happen or is it just me thinking too much? Why of unknown causes am I so much affected by the surroundings? Why am I unable to increase my latent inhibition and be immune to these external forces? The sudden influx of questions, self-preservation and uncertainties are interfering with my daily existence and this is quite on the contary to the fact that I am so much well protected in the past. I have forced myself into a safe and locked myself up back then but why is it that this safe is slowly decaying on me? What should I look for? An answer to complete my life? A sign? And if it's possible, where should I look for? I am already here so if it's not here then perhaps I should start searching elsewhere? Am I barking up the wrong tree?
As the gallons of questions flood my head, I am eluding these sub-conscious reality by substituting them with images of naive little kids running amok with cleavers and masks...
Then I found myself very much indebted and sinking into those past images, memories and warmth...into the arms of those.
Depression as I see it becomes more like a reality for me though there's no way I can forcast the next relapse. No I do not need to see a shrink or be administered to a special place with men in white. These are luxuries that I can't afford and will not be willing to...at least for the moment.
Seems like another one of the random internal turmoil or is it that I am just breaking up under depression? Maybe to me a lot of things have happen or is it just me thinking too much? Why of unknown causes am I so much affected by the surroundings? Why am I unable to increase my latent inhibition and be immune to these external forces? The sudden influx of questions, self-preservation and uncertainties are interfering with my daily existence and this is quite on the contary to the fact that I am so much well protected in the past. I have forced myself into a safe and locked myself up back then but why is it that this safe is slowly decaying on me? What should I look for? An answer to complete my life? A sign? And if it's possible, where should I look for? I am already here so if it's not here then perhaps I should start searching elsewhere? Am I barking up the wrong tree?
As the gallons of questions flood my head, I am eluding these sub-conscious reality by substituting them with images of naive little kids running amok with cleavers and masks...
Then I found myself very much indebted and sinking into those past images, memories and warmth...into the arms of those.
Depression as I see it becomes more like a reality for me though there's no way I can forcast the next relapse. No I do not need to see a shrink or be administered to a special place with men in white. These are luxuries that I can't afford and will not be willing to...at least for the moment.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Yeber Yeber Yeber Yeber nonsensical tickings
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
I am very tired after the Sunday's event. Indeed very tired both mentally and physically...my brain feels like shutting down for a much needed rest while my body is crying out loud for feeling lethargic. The weather sucks because I can see the mountainous regions beneath the clear blue sky. The sun is blinding my eyes but still I have to struggle to go to work and do nonsense each day. When night comes, I can feel the moon rejuvernating me but sometimes it's no where to be found. Yes it's really dark when there is no moon and superstitious fear are affecting my slightly. I live alone as many people have known so that makes me pissed. I am one angy terrorist awaiting the chance to blow many suckers sky high. Tick tick tick...I can feel it growing...
I am remorseful for leaving you, I am remorseful for neglecting you, I am remorseful for embarking on stupid childish dreams...I am remorseful. Will you still take me back if I come home? Will you still fulfill all the promises that you have made? Will you...
I am very tired after the Sunday's event. Indeed very tired both mentally and physically...my brain feels like shutting down for a much needed rest while my body is crying out loud for feeling lethargic. The weather sucks because I can see the mountainous regions beneath the clear blue sky. The sun is blinding my eyes but still I have to struggle to go to work and do nonsense each day. When night comes, I can feel the moon rejuvernating me but sometimes it's no where to be found. Yes it's really dark when there is no moon and superstitious fear are affecting my slightly. I live alone as many people have known so that makes me pissed. I am one angy terrorist awaiting the chance to blow many suckers sky high. Tick tick tick...I can feel it growing...
I am remorseful for leaving you, I am remorseful for neglecting you, I am remorseful for embarking on stupid childish dreams...I am remorseful. Will you still take me back if I come home? Will you still fulfill all the promises that you have made? Will you...
When lines are crossed
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
One is really kind or may I say brainless and the other one is smooth or may I say scheming bastard. These are the kind of societal miscreants that I have to face every now and then but why the hell am I getting involved in all these unproductive squabbles all of a sudden? Boy I wonder...here's the plot.
Mr 3-RETARD has a girlfriend, Miss Ask for 4 years. While Mr 3-RETARD also have a good friend (more like fiend), Mr You-SOB for God-Knows-How-Many-Donkey-Years. Miss Ask have a younger sister, Miss Say-WHORE who so happens to be dumped recently I presumed. While everyone knows that Mr You-SOB is some no brainer who have at least 3 different girlfriends at any one time, likes to lie and doesn't show respect for anyone. While Miss Say-WHORE so happens to know this as well but she decides to jump onto Mr You-SOB Pimp Wagon. Mr 3-RETARD in question does not do anything about it as he claims it's not his problem. Damn right not his problem but seeing that he will be the future sister-in-law of Miss Say-WHORE, he should at least exercise some sense into both his fiend, Mr You-SOB and also Miss Say-WHORE.
And then here comes the worst bastard Mr You-SOB. I presumed that everyone should be sensible enuff to stay clear off brotherly family affairs but this simpleton bloke with no future, dreams or watsoever decides to pull a fast one and chew on his mate's girlfriend's sister for say, a quick fix? Show some respect here dude...don't ya father ever teach you never bite the hand that feed you? Or sleeping with your own mother is not acceptable? Even dogs and other beast know of such a simple unspoken norm that governs all existence. Now you chose to ignore all of that and do like wise...it's almost like commiting incest and not to mention the fact that you have 3 people to dote on you. Argh I hate you and I want to burn you face down on a crucifix.
Well what a shameful world these poor pitiful imbeciles live in. But since it's like this, I might as well exploit on the situation and raze everything to the ground. I was actually planning to sow discord between these people and watch with chips and popcorn in my arms how the story will unfold further. Might be a rather spectacular show that will probably miss the Emmy's on grounds that it's a local production.
Sad but true...I shall never give people the respect when they simply do not have the honour to earn it. If they themselves do not respect themselves then all the more I and all others shouldn't. Bitch, slut, whore, bastards, pimps and assholes...rejoice as you can all join your hands and sing in unision. Because when you are done with that, you can all come kiss my ass and say goodbye.
One is really kind or may I say brainless and the other one is smooth or may I say scheming bastard. These are the kind of societal miscreants that I have to face every now and then but why the hell am I getting involved in all these unproductive squabbles all of a sudden? Boy I wonder...here's the plot.
Mr 3-RETARD has a girlfriend, Miss Ask for 4 years. While Mr 3-RETARD also have a good friend (more like fiend), Mr You-SOB for God-Knows-How-Many-Donkey-Years. Miss Ask have a younger sister, Miss Say-WHORE who so happens to be dumped recently I presumed. While everyone knows that Mr You-SOB is some no brainer who have at least 3 different girlfriends at any one time, likes to lie and doesn't show respect for anyone. While Miss Say-WHORE so happens to know this as well but she decides to jump onto Mr You-SOB Pimp Wagon. Mr 3-RETARD in question does not do anything about it as he claims it's not his problem. Damn right not his problem but seeing that he will be the future sister-in-law of Miss Say-WHORE, he should at least exercise some sense into both his fiend, Mr You-SOB and also Miss Say-WHORE.
And then here comes the worst bastard Mr You-SOB. I presumed that everyone should be sensible enuff to stay clear off brotherly family affairs but this simpleton bloke with no future, dreams or watsoever decides to pull a fast one and chew on his mate's girlfriend's sister for say, a quick fix? Show some respect here dude...don't ya father ever teach you never bite the hand that feed you? Or sleeping with your own mother is not acceptable? Even dogs and other beast know of such a simple unspoken norm that governs all existence. Now you chose to ignore all of that and do like wise...it's almost like commiting incest and not to mention the fact that you have 3 people to dote on you. Argh I hate you and I want to burn you face down on a crucifix.
Well what a shameful world these poor pitiful imbeciles live in. But since it's like this, I might as well exploit on the situation and raze everything to the ground. I was actually planning to sow discord between these people and watch with chips and popcorn in my arms how the story will unfold further. Might be a rather spectacular show that will probably miss the Emmy's on grounds that it's a local production.
Sad but true...I shall never give people the respect when they simply do not have the honour to earn it. If they themselves do not respect themselves then all the more I and all others shouldn't. Bitch, slut, whore, bastards, pimps and assholes...rejoice as you can all join your hands and sing in unision. Because when you are done with that, you can all come kiss my ass and say goodbye.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Am I being punished?
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
Like everyone else, every citizen and every good samaritan, I am just a regular normal human being run by a certain set of beliefs and principles. And like every masculine species that roamed Earth since pre-historic times, I do yearn for a comfortable shoulder to weep, a warm tender hug in winter, a rejuvernatiung smile in the morning all from 1 person...a girlfriend.
But I have none to begin with...well...actually there are, but I denied them. I am searching and I searching but still no luck. Maybe I am picky or something...or was it retribution? What's wrong with choosing since life is all about making the right decisions?
Sometimes to a certain extent, I am actually attributing this strange phenomenon to the place that I am living in. In exile with no one to interact but strangly enuff, I was actually singing praises about such a lifestyle earlier on. How ironic and how my mental stability are being questioned.
Long gone are those sweet tender kisses, warm hugs and fanciful dinner, long gone are those slow walks in the evening, holding hands and the fragrance of the hair, long gone are those reflections of the velvet night sky in the eyes of the once most beautiful lady in front of me, long gone are those wild and crazy ideas I am willing to serve for my Lady...Now with the harsh, cold winter approaching, I can feel more angst rising to keep me warm and alive just to realise that I am all alone.
I can feel my biological clock ticking and I am anxious, desperate at times but still I am unmotivated and unreluctant to sucumb to anyone in the street. I have to fulfil my destiny...
God, for once stop playing MGS4 on the PS3 and grant me a vision, an answer or anything that will guide me to her. Fate like everyone puts it quite simply, was that 1 think I am lacking to meet her. Yeah easy for all you folks to say but a little action would be appreciated. Superfacial, all talk and no action is what I think. I am practical and realistic so if some greater power or being is believed to be present, give me a sign to prove it. Stop wasting my time...
See...I have come to the extent to even fault God for my shortfall but that only shows how lonely and pathetic I am. Shine me a path before I lose my love for her, the world and everything else. And then I shall welcome the darkside with open arms...
*Argh* my social well being is at stake now...
Like everyone else, every citizen and every good samaritan, I am just a regular normal human being run by a certain set of beliefs and principles. And like every masculine species that roamed Earth since pre-historic times, I do yearn for a comfortable shoulder to weep, a warm tender hug in winter, a rejuvernatiung smile in the morning all from 1 person...a girlfriend.
But I have none to begin with...well...actually there are, but I denied them. I am searching and I searching but still no luck. Maybe I am picky or something...or was it retribution? What's wrong with choosing since life is all about making the right decisions?
Sometimes to a certain extent, I am actually attributing this strange phenomenon to the place that I am living in. In exile with no one to interact but strangly enuff, I was actually singing praises about such a lifestyle earlier on. How ironic and how my mental stability are being questioned.
Long gone are those sweet tender kisses, warm hugs and fanciful dinner, long gone are those slow walks in the evening, holding hands and the fragrance of the hair, long gone are those reflections of the velvet night sky in the eyes of the once most beautiful lady in front of me, long gone are those wild and crazy ideas I am willing to serve for my Lady...Now with the harsh, cold winter approaching, I can feel more angst rising to keep me warm and alive just to realise that I am all alone.
I can feel my biological clock ticking and I am anxious, desperate at times but still I am unmotivated and unreluctant to sucumb to anyone in the street. I have to fulfil my destiny...
God, for once stop playing MGS4 on the PS3 and grant me a vision, an answer or anything that will guide me to her. Fate like everyone puts it quite simply, was that 1 think I am lacking to meet her. Yeah easy for all you folks to say but a little action would be appreciated. Superfacial, all talk and no action is what I think. I am practical and realistic so if some greater power or being is believed to be present, give me a sign to prove it. Stop wasting my time...
See...I have come to the extent to even fault God for my shortfall but that only shows how lonely and pathetic I am. Shine me a path before I lose my love for her, the world and everything else. And then I shall welcome the darkside with open arms...
*Argh* my social well being is at stake now...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Nosey Parker Exposé (Explicit Content)
- Fate is decided by God but destiny is the path you choose to get there -
Just when I was all excited to get back to work, just when I was whining how easy and no brainer my job was, just when I was bragging how easy I got this no brainer job, just when everything was falling into pieces like dust gently settling...a vicious vixen shed it's goofy fool hoofs and bare it's ugly inerts at me. This time round no more charismatic nice gentleman at your disposal. This entry will be flooded with vocabuary deem good enoungh for you bitch so be warned.
Not too sure the exact cause of what triggered the explosion, be it your menopause, monthly ritual bleeding or your dog's inability to please you in bed, all these had nothing to do with me. I am an ASSISTANT ENGLISH TEACHER and you are no better. You are simply a PART TIME TEACHER and I do not GIVE A FUCK if you did graduate from the States or that you can speak 3 languages like I do. What I FUCKING CARE is that what I do at work like surfing porn, downloading games or creating entries like this to FLAME YOU FUCKING IMBECILE, is simply my problem so don't you care. I have tried in the beginning and the Head Teacher simply tell me that I alone can't change SHITS that some stubborn bunch of half dead Ah Peks in the legislation had set. Not forgeting some impromptu Demostration Class I had in the Elementary school which had my sorry ass fried for taking the lead in the class. So I will BE THE FUCKING ASSISTANT ENGLISH TEACHER and not contribute unless I am told to. Why the hell do you think I would lose all the inspiration to change the lessons? Think with your brain and not your cunt you FUCKING SHITHOLE OF A WHORE. Such audacity to serve a cold platter of sarcasm in my face mid day...Whoa! Scary but I bet you can do better.
The Principal doesn't complain, the vice Principal doesn't complain and even the head teacher doesn't complain so DON'T YOU EVER COME UP TO ME and TELL ME I SPEND TO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET, YOU GOD DAMN FUCKING BEASTIE WHORE OF UNKIND NATURE. What else do you expect me to do. Sleep, play my PSP or improve my harsh entry like this for you. Mind you I am doing something productive to myself like trading in Forex and reading Wikipedia to widen my knowledge. I am not simply staring at the screen...and I am most uncomfortable staring into your blasted FUCK FACE now. My boss tells me that I have to be in here from 0830 to 1630 even when I have nothing productive to do. In other words, I am not better than wasting my time sleeping everyday at home. So of course I surf the internet and do what ever I like...these are nothing against the law, not prohibited in the clause of the contract and most definitely not affecting others around me. Silently I sit at my desk and mind my own business and you tell me I spend too much time on the internet? Are you even sure you know what I am doing with the internet? Do you even have the slightest clue that I have been pulling this stint for almost 1 year and only now did you decide to pull the plug on me. Alternatively it wouldn't be hard to imagine you fanning some unhealthy flame behind me in the bid to bring me down.
Do not EVER try to strike me down because you think you can...you are so wrong and you will always be so dead wrong. Stop being a nosey parker and keep your sniffing to the sewers where you BITCH OF A RAT FACED ACENSTRY belong. I despise and dislike sewer garbage like you and the likes of your entire species. Be gone!
If you want me to help you, you can simply ask and you can be sure I will be ready to offer my help anytime. If you want to delegate tasks all you have to do is consult me and like wise I will be more than willing to offer my humble services. But because you have a bad day doesn't mean you can bring me down with you. I am not your servant, slave or pet because I have better taste in selecting my masters. You do not seriously think by dropping a bomb like this on me on the last hour will catch me unguarded. If you do than I can seriously praise you for your shallow creativity. I am not stupid nor was I born yesterday...Well let me shed a little enlightenment to your otherwise subjective mentality that have proved that the many years of education you have received was an indeed failure not only to the society but a disgrace to the entire homo sapiens community. Your parents must be so ashamed they created such a defect that they wished they were disintegrated in the A Bomb incident. I am well adept in the art of disguises, deceit and sabotages which makes me an excellent silent assassin. Planning a full 50 minute lesson plan hours before the actual execution is simply baby's play for me so there is really no need to be surprised.
Indeed I panicked in the initial 5 minutes but hey I did not even break a single sweat. Quite simply I glided across the smooth ice and rode it in my stride. LAME SUCKER...
I am harsh and yes indeed I am...why the hell would I be so nice to you. What goes around comes around but for my case, I can only be the hedious sucker beind the keypads flaming because I dislike frontal conflicts. Not only is it dangerous to show my face, it will even thwart my incredible plan to conquer and plunder. This is my dream that I have worked hard on so I will not waste it on the MOTHER FUCKER IN NAGANO CITY or on you. I will go a long way before I see you in your little box burn in flames. FUCK YOU!
*Sigh* I really wonder why am I always surrounded by idiots? Why can't I be aquainted with more people like my beloved little sheep? Why? In times like this Momo will be sure to cast me aside and lash at my open sore...only My precious little sheep and Big bear will embrace me in their arms and tell me it's alrite. Both of you will greatly be missed. Without these 2 angels by my side, I can trust no one as everyone else is just as sly and quick in prying my flaws and feasting on them.
You made your move and so the plates are divided. From this day on, there will be no trust, no feelings and no gratitude for you or from you. It's about pre-constructed smile and laughs accompanied by false flattery and tons of hate all in the dishonour of you bitch. Burn elsewhere and not in my hell.
Just when I was all excited to get back to work, just when I was whining how easy and no brainer my job was, just when I was bragging how easy I got this no brainer job, just when everything was falling into pieces like dust gently settling...a vicious vixen shed it's goofy fool hoofs and bare it's ugly inerts at me. This time round no more charismatic nice gentleman at your disposal. This entry will be flooded with vocabuary deem good enoungh for you bitch so be warned.
Not too sure the exact cause of what triggered the explosion, be it your menopause, monthly ritual bleeding or your dog's inability to please you in bed, all these had nothing to do with me. I am an ASSISTANT ENGLISH TEACHER and you are no better. You are simply a PART TIME TEACHER and I do not GIVE A FUCK if you did graduate from the States or that you can speak 3 languages like I do. What I FUCKING CARE is that what I do at work like surfing porn, downloading games or creating entries like this to FLAME YOU FUCKING IMBECILE, is simply my problem so don't you care. I have tried in the beginning and the Head Teacher simply tell me that I alone can't change SHITS that some stubborn bunch of half dead Ah Peks in the legislation had set. Not forgeting some impromptu Demostration Class I had in the Elementary school which had my sorry ass fried for taking the lead in the class. So I will BE THE FUCKING ASSISTANT ENGLISH TEACHER and not contribute unless I am told to. Why the hell do you think I would lose all the inspiration to change the lessons? Think with your brain and not your cunt you FUCKING SHITHOLE OF A WHORE. Such audacity to serve a cold platter of sarcasm in my face mid day...Whoa! Scary but I bet you can do better.
The Principal doesn't complain, the vice Principal doesn't complain and even the head teacher doesn't complain so DON'T YOU EVER COME UP TO ME and TELL ME I SPEND TO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET, YOU GOD DAMN FUCKING BEASTIE WHORE OF UNKIND NATURE. What else do you expect me to do. Sleep, play my PSP or improve my harsh entry like this for you. Mind you I am doing something productive to myself like trading in Forex and reading Wikipedia to widen my knowledge. I am not simply staring at the screen...and I am most uncomfortable staring into your blasted FUCK FACE now. My boss tells me that I have to be in here from 0830 to 1630 even when I have nothing productive to do. In other words, I am not better than wasting my time sleeping everyday at home. So of course I surf the internet and do what ever I like...these are nothing against the law, not prohibited in the clause of the contract and most definitely not affecting others around me. Silently I sit at my desk and mind my own business and you tell me I spend too much time on the internet? Are you even sure you know what I am doing with the internet? Do you even have the slightest clue that I have been pulling this stint for almost 1 year and only now did you decide to pull the plug on me. Alternatively it wouldn't be hard to imagine you fanning some unhealthy flame behind me in the bid to bring me down.
Do not EVER try to strike me down because you think you can...you are so wrong and you will always be so dead wrong. Stop being a nosey parker and keep your sniffing to the sewers where you BITCH OF A RAT FACED ACENSTRY belong. I despise and dislike sewer garbage like you and the likes of your entire species. Be gone!
If you want me to help you, you can simply ask and you can be sure I will be ready to offer my help anytime. If you want to delegate tasks all you have to do is consult me and like wise I will be more than willing to offer my humble services. But because you have a bad day doesn't mean you can bring me down with you. I am not your servant, slave or pet because I have better taste in selecting my masters. You do not seriously think by dropping a bomb like this on me on the last hour will catch me unguarded. If you do than I can seriously praise you for your shallow creativity. I am not stupid nor was I born yesterday...Well let me shed a little enlightenment to your otherwise subjective mentality that have proved that the many years of education you have received was an indeed failure not only to the society but a disgrace to the entire homo sapiens community. Your parents must be so ashamed they created such a defect that they wished they were disintegrated in the A Bomb incident. I am well adept in the art of disguises, deceit and sabotages which makes me an excellent silent assassin. Planning a full 50 minute lesson plan hours before the actual execution is simply baby's play for me so there is really no need to be surprised.
Indeed I panicked in the initial 5 minutes but hey I did not even break a single sweat. Quite simply I glided across the smooth ice and rode it in my stride. LAME SUCKER...
I am harsh and yes indeed I am...why the hell would I be so nice to you. What goes around comes around but for my case, I can only be the hedious sucker beind the keypads flaming because I dislike frontal conflicts. Not only is it dangerous to show my face, it will even thwart my incredible plan to conquer and plunder. This is my dream that I have worked hard on so I will not waste it on the MOTHER FUCKER IN NAGANO CITY or on you. I will go a long way before I see you in your little box burn in flames. FUCK YOU!
*Sigh* I really wonder why am I always surrounded by idiots? Why can't I be aquainted with more people like my beloved little sheep? Why? In times like this Momo will be sure to cast me aside and lash at my open sore...only My precious little sheep and Big bear will embrace me in their arms and tell me it's alrite. Both of you will greatly be missed. Without these 2 angels by my side, I can trust no one as everyone else is just as sly and quick in prying my flaws and feasting on them.
You made your move and so the plates are divided. From this day on, there will be no trust, no feelings and no gratitude for you or from you. It's about pre-constructed smile and laughs accompanied by false flattery and tons of hate all in the dishonour of you bitch. Burn elsewhere and not in my hell.
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